LANSING, Mich. (Michigan News Source) – Have you sold a car on a Sunday in Michigan?

Have you gotten on a railway train drunk?

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Are you living in sin?

Have you given a friend or family member a haircut or manicure without the government’s permission?

All of those things are illegal in Michigan according to online research, verified with links to the information above on the laws. But those weren’t the only crazy things discovered.

Other strange laws turned up but without verifiable links online to back up the claims found during research. These illegalities reported by various online sources include abandoning a hoop skirt onto the sidewalk or street in South Haven; painting a sparrow with red paint to pass it off as a parakeet; and tying an alligator to a fire hydrant in Harper Woods; purposely destroy a vintage radio in Detroit, and letting your pig wander in Detroit without a nose ring.

So if you are on the fence about doing any of those things, you might want to check out your local regulations and zoning laws before you take the plunge and do something crazy like letting your pig loose.

You also might want to check out your dictionary as well. Under Michigan Penal Code Act 328 of 1931, 750.335 that is titled “Lewd and lascivious cohabitation and gross lewdness” Section 335 says, “Any man or woman, not being married to each other, who lewdly and lasciviously associates and cohabits together, and any man or woman, married or unmarried, who is guilty of open and gross lewdness and lascivious behavior, is guilty of a misdemeanor punishable by imprisonment for not more than 1 year, or a fine of not more than $1,000.00. No prosecution shall be commenced under this section after 1 year from the time of committing the offense.”

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According to Merriam-Webster, lascivious is defined as “filled with or showing sexual desire” and lewdness is “obscene” or “vulgar.”

Please take notice that you can’t be married and be lewd or lascivious in public either.

So why are these nutty laws still on the books in Michigan? Probably because lawmakers haven’t deemed it important enough to repeal them. They also might not want to appear in the news or on social media as a comedy meme for spending their time on any of these issues.

The police, for the most part, are not likely to be enforcing most of the crazy laws. They might not even know about them. Which is good for all of you drunk, lascivious pig owners out there.